Image from a zombie walk in Brooklyn, 2011 Photo by Chante Tenoso

TRANSLATE THE STORY

Sunday, January 31, 2010

Hatred : DNA or learned behavior

Is hate an elementary part of the human DNA or is it something humans learn from life experience?

Before the Zombies showed up the world seemed to be run by hatred. The United States hated terrorism and went to war over it. Israel and Palestine fought incessantly. India and Pakistan waged a silent war, stalled in taking action because they both have nuclear weapons. Whites hated blacks who hated Asians who hated Latinos. Individuals hated themselves because they could never become the twin of some pop star or famous actress. If people weren't waging war on other countries they were waging war on everything else under the sun.

Then the zombies showed up. It wasn't an immediate change at the first sign of the undead. But the change from a hating world to one where people untied as human beings did happen relatively fast once everybody realized they had a common enemy.

Countries, governments, races and religions became obsolete. They came together to eradicate the army of undead who were relentless. Photographs from this time were amazing. Like the picture of the Israeli fighter decapitating a zombie American soldier whose mouth is just inches away from biting down on the arm of a Palestinian woman who is clutching her small child or the photo from Rome of a Swiss Guard and a transvestite fighting side by side defending the Vatican. This image alone helped to create a significant change in how the Catholic church views gays.

This parade of unity only lasted as long as the threat did. As soon as the last zombie head had been bashed, severed, exploded and shot the hatred began to return.

The United States blamed terrorism for  the zombies. Fox News reported that the source of infection within the continental United States possibly came from a biological weapon brought in by Al Quaeda or some other terrorist group. No Terrorist group has ever come forward to take the credit.

Israelis blamed Palestinian labs saying they created the first zombies as a secret weapon to destroy Israel so they could move in and take the land.

Every religion pointed the finger at each other. While zombies had unified the world they ultimately would be the new cause for unsubdued hatred.

The Walking Dead Compendium Volume 1

I recently got a chance to check out and read (cover to cover in one sitting) a copy of The Walking Dead Compendium Volume One. Let me just start by saying that this book isn't small. It isn't something you might take with you on the bus to school or on the train to work unless you want a serious workout. It is a compilation of the comic books, I'm not exactly sure up to which number.
 
 Once I picked it up I couldn't put it down. Don't worry, I'm not going to spoil anything for you. The number one thing I love about this story is how the writers get you to feel for each character, almost straight off the bat. It isn't just another zombie survival story. The Walking Dead brings the fragile bonds of humanity back to the zombie genre. This is probably why I have heard rumors that A&E television is in the works to turn this wonderful graphic novel (comic book originally) into a television series. I feel like the world, as described in The Walking Dead, is a fair depiction of how survivors might act in the wake of a zombie apocalypse. Just because the world is overrun by flesh starved, rotting, disgusting zombies doesn't mean that humans will forget about everything they knew before.

 The Walking Dead delves into the emotions and fears of a group of human survivors. It shows how people can be changed in more ways than one when faced with death, literally, banging on your door. If you are a fan of the zombie genre then this is a "must-have" or at least a "must-read". The story will make you turn the page and the art is gorgeous.

When I originally heard about this series a friend told me how great the art was. I just assumed it would be in color, it isn't. I is all done in black and white and this factor doesn't make the zombie feedings any less gory or vicious. I can remember cringing at a few parts and squirming like it hurt. Okay, I'm gonna stop now, I think you get the point that I liked it. I can't wait to find out what happens next in this series...

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Zombie Art you can bring into your life










The Zombie Che Guevara piece is really great, in my opinion. This would look AWESOME in a living room, dorm, etc. This is the fourth in a limited number of 50 prints the artist will be offering. The title is Zombie Che.

The next piece is a mobile titled "Left 4 Dead". If you're a zombie enthusiast, which I'm guessing you are then you might like to have this hanging in your home.

"Some days we just want to see Obama hit a zombie in the face. It is an image that warms the heart."
- Artist Quote, Obama vs. Zombies
President Obama might not be able to battle health care reform but he is kicking some serious zombie butt on this tee shirt. If my boyfriend was into zombies as much as me I would get him one.

Finally, a cute pin to sum it all up. "Don't Feed the Zombies" button measures 1 1/2 inches across. It is also available as a magnet or a keychain.

Click on any of the images to take you to each artists individual shop. I don't get a commission or anything. I'm just posting this stuff cause I like it and want to share it with you. Everything posted here is handmade.

VIDEO & A Subway Attack, Armaggedon Begins!

videoShortly after this video was taken the subway lurched to a halt. The emergency lights came on and the conductor began to say something. The guitar player leaned back against the doors while pulling his guitar in front of him. A son hugged his father, a little scared, to his left.

Again, the conductors voice came over the loud speaker, but it was different. Even though you couldn't understand a word you could hear the tone of panic. The conductor was louder, rushed and then he let out a blood curdling scream. The next sounds were of cloth being torn, something ripping, gurggling, wet smacking, teeth grinding, lips smacking,low groawl,...silence...

The subway doors flew open and the guitarist fell out on his back. The father and son jumped up and went towards the doors. The dad called out to the guitarist asking if he was okay.

"si, yes I am good, Gracias!" the guitarist replied as ge stood up. A shadow caught his eye. Then the shadow began to growl. Yes, growl, he couldn't believe his ears. The red security light bulb above his head wasn't helping. It was making his eyes have an even harder time focusing in the dark. The dark mass made a sudden move forward and the guitarist instinctively swung his guitar at it. It lost it's balance and fell into the wall head first. It didn't get up.

The guitarist jumped back into the subway car. The father had pushed his son behind him. The guitarist introduced himself as Jorge and the father introduced himself as " stay the fuck away from us."

Another dark shape was now approaching the father from behind. Jorge took a step towards the father who took a step back, right into the outstretched hands of the thing behind him. His son was stuck between a sticky wall and his fathers lower back. The hands began to pull his shoulders back.

Jorge grabbed the father by his arms, yanking him forward, freeing him. Now the dark shape had found a new target, the son. It held his face and hair and was trying to pull him to it's open mouth. Fortunately, it seemed to be having a hard time bending down and pulling him up. The guitarist took this opportunity to smash the thing in the head with all of his force. The guitar broke to pieces leaving the guitar neck in Jorge's hand like he just hit a home run.

The father thanked him and said his name was Paul and next to him was Nathan. Together they decided they had to get out of this subway tunnel and fast. They checked the tunnel by slowly looking around the edge of the last door toward the front of the train. They figured they were closer to the next station than the previous. They could see something moving a few cars down and nothing else. They stayed in the shadows, weaving their way through the subway cars and avoiding the occasional slow staggering person.

The first car of the train had made it into the next station, 14th street. There were large puddles of blood coagulating on the multiple subway platforms. Dark red streaks smeared the walls and subway maps. On the next platform over three people looked like they were viciously tickling a woman. Until one from the group turned around, saw Paul and let out a loud moan through a bloody mouth. Chunks of blood soaked meat dripping from it's hands. The rest of the group turned and they all walked forward , straight off of their platform edge and into the tracks. Suddenly, the power came back on. One of the zombies fell on the third rail turning him into a zombie shish kabob. The two others got up and reached out to Paul,Jorge and Nathan as they ran up the subway stairs. Nathan looked back and screamed. One zombie was missing an eye, blood was caked to it's face. The other was missing her lower lip and a good chunk if her chin. Both were clawing at the platform unable to get up.

Before they got to street level Paul, Nathan and Jorge stopped. They could hear screaming, sirens, yelling, crying and something new. Something they had only heard in the subway up until now. An inhuman growling echoing from every direction. Had the gates to hell been opened?

4 Zombie Books I liked

Monster Island: A Zombie NovelDay by Day Armageddon (A Zombie Novel)World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War
Plague of the Dead (The Morningstar Strain)


I read the five books featured above and I thought they were all very good. World War Z is my top recommendation. Z.A. Recht is a great zombie writer, I highly recommend his work, not just Day by Day Armageddon. Finally, David Wellington does a terrific job with his Monster series of zombie books. I like Monster island in particular because I'm in New York City.

You can click on any of the images above to take you to Amazon.com. I always purchase books from Amazon because I like that you can buy already used books for much cheaper than the new price. Not to mention they have an awesome selection. (Sorry if I sound like a commercial.)

Sunday, January 24, 2010

WANT A FREE TEE SHIRT?

WANT A FREE TEE-SHIRT? ( USA only at this time, sorry...)


1 - Become a follower of this blog before March 1 2010
2- Leave a comment on this post with your shirt size and gender
3- Remain human until March 1 2010 (Zombies will be disqualified)

That's it!

Follow those 3 simple steps and you will be entered to win a ZOMBIES CAN'T LOVE tee shirt!

Winners will be announced on this site by March 5 2010. I will message the winners privately to get your mailing address.

Contest is only open to residents of the continental USA.


GOOD LUCK!

I hope they are slow Zombies


I'm on the New York subway heading downtown. The train is pretty full but not packed. I'm looking around at the people standing and seated around me wondering who would make it out of here if Zombies were to make an appearance.

There is a well dressed black woman to my right. She's reading a magazine article that shows a map of the USA. Her glasses are carefully hanging from her mouth. I look down at her shoes, they are a cute pair of flat slip ons. They match her tights very well. While they look cute I am going to have to say that this woman is completely screwed in an "escape from the zombies on the train" scenario. At the first sign of trouble she would probably end up doing fine and keeping her cool, maybe even making it out into the dark subway tunnel running for the exit on the next platform. That's when her shoe would slip off causing her to fall, being trampled by the other terrified passengers running to presumed safety. She would only be able to regain her composure long enough to realize there's no more time between her and death as the first zombie bites into her leg. Searing hot pain engulfs the left side of her body. She screams which only helps to attract the rest of the zombie horde. A second, a third, a fourth zombie attack this woman dragging her to the ground. She is completely devoured in a very short time. Her shoes are one of the last things left on the train tracks to commemorate her demise.

I have to admit that I don't think my percentage for survival right now is too high. I'm wearing high heeled boots. The only thing that may give me a bit of an advantage is that I am most certainly one of a few people on this train who would recognize the first sign of zombies quickly. That and I can run in these if need be, just not super fast. I hope they are slow zombies this time...

Saturday, January 23, 2010

RailRoad Salvage, Candy and Sweet Dreams


It has been three days since I have eaten anything besides candy. The sugar headaches are excruciating. I have been making my way north, further into the wilderness and further from urban areas. If I don't survive to see humanity make a comeback I hope that someone finds this journal. I don't want to just be one of the forgotten people who didn't make it through the zombie war.

Not to mention this journal is the only "person" I can talk to. It's lonely, I'm lonely...

I might actually get some sleep tonight. I'm in a small town called Turners Falls in Massachusetts; haven't seen a trace of life or the undead on my walk through the town. I even managed to get some more candy bars and tic-tacs from the front of the Brooks Pharmacy. The whole store looked pretty untouched compared to other places I've seen. But I never venture far into places. That's why I can usually find candy, it's kept by the registers or entrances of stores.

I took the street behind the pharmacy and it led me to an old bridge that someone had blown a huge hole in. The sides are still up so I was able to shimmy across, no zombie will be able to do that. That's when I found myself in front of where I'm sitting now.

It used to be a place called Railroad Salvage.I think they sold furniture or something like that. Maybe it was a thrift store. In any case, it is abandoned and surrounded by a fence. I couldn't find a single hole in the fence. Good sign that there aren't any people,living or zombie, lurking about.

I'd give anything for a conversation with another living person. I tried to speak and was shocked at the sound of my own voice. It must be what monks feel like after living in silence for decades and then finally saying a word.

Let me stop thinking about things I don't have. I'm thankful for the candy bars, tic-tacs and the possibility I may get a few hours of restful sleep.

Thanks for listening to me. Let's talk again tomorrow.

You're my best friend.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

So How did Ya'll get into zombies?

Three of my friends from LostZombies.com answer this question for me.

"My best friend got me hooked..."
Dream Killer
Houston, Texas

"I got into zombies before I even knew what a zombie was...My granpa used to scare me by being a zombie, I was too young to know what he meant by zombie, but I knew I was terrified LOL...My granpa used to tell me stories of zombies when I was a wee lad...Yeah, in the Phillipines they take the superstitious to a whole new level, but some of it is actually based on real events..."
JJ
Stockton, California

"When I was a kid I didn't like normal movies for kids I was into horror. and I have just been in love ever since...I wasn't a normal child lol..."
Jacob Grange
Springfield, Oregon

Chemtrails Keep falling on my Head


The planes started early this morning. By noon, the chemtrails they write across the sky will be so thick you won't be able to see the sun. I'm just one of a handful of people who have noticed this in my small french town, besides the birds who have all seem to have disappeared. The only birds you can find around here these days are dead or dying.

Everybody has been getting sick but not all in the same way. My neighbor Charlotte came down with flu-like symptoms and a hacking cough. She now has to use an inhaler three times a day. The waiter who works in the outdoor cafe has headaches all the time and got so dizzy the other day he dropped his entire tray on a very angry table. Mind you, he has been a waiter for over twenty years and could do it blindfolded if needed. I myself have become irritable, extremely tired and I have a strange rash developing on my arms. This is worrying me to no end. It looks like the same rash Laurent showed me before he went insane. His twelve year old daughter is the only survivor from this incident. She hasn't said much but does talk in her sleep from time to time. The police tried to gather as much as they could by hypnotising her and questioning neighbors.

This is a small town where everybody knows everybody so the police weren't able to keep the story a secret for long. From what they could piece together Laurent had gone to the doctor because he was feeling unusually tired and had developed a rash. He thought he might be coming down with the Mumps or Chicken Pox. The doctor couldn't find anything and sent him home with some cream. Then he started having memory problems. He would wake up and not know who his own wife was laying next to him in bed or where he was. Severe nosebleeds became very frequent and sometimes he would pass out. I actually saw him fall out while he was walking down to the river one day and when he woke up he was terrified and screaming. He had no idea who I was or where he was. He almost punched me before he ran off. His wife found him later that day hiding under their car.

His wife believed he was suffering from dimentia or early alzheimer's. This is where the testimony of his daughter comes in. She says that on the day of the "incident" her father went mad. He woke up, went to the bathroom and came downstairs for breakfast. She was in the office nook next to the kitchen when her dad walked in. He started screaming unlike anything she had ever heard, almost like an animal and charged at her mother. He grabbed her head and began pounding it against the stone wall of the kitchen. Her older brother walked into the kitchen and saw this. He tried to stop his father but he wasn't strong enough. His father caught his right arm and broke it at the elbow. She said that she didn't know what to do but hide. She slid down, slowly, under the desk she had been seated at and pulled the chair closer to the desk. She trembled and watched as her father beat her brother to death and then started to bite at his bloody face. He didn't eat the chunks of flesh he was pulling from his son's face, just chewing and then spitting them out. She said he looked like a hungry dog who is trying to eat something but it tastes so horrible that they just can't swallow it.

Once he was done "eating" his son she says he sat in the pool of blood on the kitchen floor and began to cry. Then he stood up, ran to the kitchen sink, grabbed every bottle of cleaner and bleach he could find and just started to drink them. He began to foam at the mouth and was still trying to drink right before his body went into convulsions and, eventually, stopped moving.

She stayed under the desk for three days before a neighbor stopped by and found the horrific scene...

My doctor says the rash on my arms is probably just a form of eczema but I know better. The rash in combination with the tiredness and metallic taste in my mouth are coming from the chemtrails being spread everyday overhead. I have heard that chemtrails have been shown to contain toxins such as aluminum and barium compounds. As well as biological materials, such as red blood cells and bacteria. You might think I'm just being paranoid but look it up for yourself.

Now, I have to go downstairs and find out who all these strange people are in my house...

Thursday, January 14, 2010

What do you have at home already?

Big kitchen knives make great weapons in close combat against zombies. Just remember to aim for the soft spots. I highly doubt my trusty kitchen blade could pierce directly through a skull.
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Have you been looking around on the Internet to find out what supplies you might need when the zombie apocalypse begins? I have and I have to admit that I'm rather upset about what I have found. There are tons of blogs and articles about supplies and weapons one should procure to aid in survival. However, I find that most of this information is impossible, unrealistic or just down right ludicrous!

Let's start with supplies. I found a piece where the writer was advising people to get MREs, night vision goggles, sniper rifles, flares, solar powered radios, bicycle powered generator, etc... Unless you're in the military I don't think you would be able to get MREs. Night vision goggles and a sniper rifle are great tools in trained hands. But I think if I had night vision goggles they would probably help get me killed and a sniper rifle is only good for targets that are far away. Solar power is great in theory but what if you're hiding in a space with no windows or access to sunlight for a while?

As for the bicycle generator...hahahahaha! If you're building your bunker now and think it will be impenetrable then go for it, pick one up on eBay. Because once the zombie apocalypse begins you probably won't be able to find one and if you do, good luck hauling it home through crowds of hungry zombies on the street.

With all of this said I'm not really sure what supplies would be "ideal". I can tell you a few items I currently have at home which, realistically, will be what I will have ready and available at the first signs of the zombie outbreak. Perhaps this list will help you think of things you can get and use now to prepare yourself.


Canned food is a good thing to have handy. Since trips to the grocery store will probably become very dangerous once all the cashiers want to eat you for lunch.


How about a crank radio? I have two of them. The black one is from Radio Shack. It has a flashlight, AM/FM radio and is very portable. Since it is a crank radio I don't have to worry about batteries, which is great since it has the flashlight feature.

The Radio Shack crank radio also has a USB port on the back that can be used to charge things, like a cell phone or an Ipod if you manage to find a safe place to sleep and want to drown out the moans of the undead.


My second crank radio is by L.L.Bean. It isn't as portable as the radio shack version. It doesn't have a flashlight either.


But it has a better crank handle and can also operate on solar power...as long as you have access to the sun this could be a useful way to stay up to date until all radio lines of communication fail and you're on your own.

I also have a lot of bottled water and a bathtub which I would fill up at the first signs of zombies. You can survive longer without food than water after all.

I can't really think of too many other things around my apartment that would be super helpful in a zombie outbreak. But if I think of other "real world" things I will be sure to let you know. Take a look around your apartment or house. What could help you? food? weapons? communication? and feel free to post what you find in the comments section at the bottom of this blog post.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Short Film - I Love Sarah Jane


I recently came across this short film on the internet. I think it is absolutely charming and gives me a warm fuzzy feeling. Thank you Spencer Susser. This is a short film after my own heart. Enjoy!

First Poll Results

The first poll I posted to this blog asked if you would be able to kill a zombie family member. The majority of you said "Definitely" while a slim few said "it would depend on the family member". Based on these conclusions I have hope that there will be other survivors of the zombie apocalypse besides hardened criminals.

Monday, January 11, 2010

New York City Chinatown Cover-up

December 8 2009

New York City, Chinatown

Agency: Mayor's Office of Special Enforcement

"THE DEPARTMENT OF BUILDINGS HAS DETERMINED THAT CONDITIONS IN THIS PREMISES ARE IMMINENTLY PERILOUS TO LIFE."

"Person entering these premises are subject to arrest."

----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----

I was at a bar downtown and two women were discussing the holiday raids on Canal Street in New York City. We'll call them Sarah and Jane since they looked like Sarah Silverman and Jane Krakowski. Sarah kept ranting about how she had almost gone the day before the raid to find a knockoff of the Valentino Petale tote bag to give to her sister for Christmas and how much she wish she had. While Jane bitched about how the Mayor and N.Y.P.D. had officially f*&%ed up a holiday tradition her and her mother had, trolling Canal Street for knockoffs to give to their unsuspecting relatives out in the Midwest.

I pretended to read my book while I listened to these two women who were honestly worried about their shopping options now that Canal street had been officially closed until further notice. An older woman on the other side of Sarah and Jane had also been listening to their conversation and began to laugh, quite noticeably. Both of the women stopped talking and looked over at her.

The woman looked like she was in her late fifties or early sixties. Her hair was salt, pepper and short. There was a whisky glass in front of her with a deep amber liquid in it, neat, no rocks. As she sat a little back away from the bar, while she laughed, I could read her shirt, it read " Kill'em All! Let God Sort'Em Out"


The older woman looked towards Sarah and Jane over the rim of her dark glasses

" Scuse me ladies, but do you really believe this horse shit about them closing down Canal Street because they have some purses with fancy labels spelled wrong? Hmmm? Well do ya?"

Sarah and Jane just looked at each other and shrugged at the old woman. The old woman took a sip of her glass and began talking...

"They've been "raiding" Canal street for as long as I can remember. On one hand the police get to look like a bunch of hot shots doing their civil duty and on the other hand the Chinese get free advertising for their fake shit. Not to mention the city makes a fortune off of the tourism all that fake fashion stuff brings in. It's a win-win-win situation. Nah, they closed Canal street because a bunch of immigrants went feral.

The way I hear it a bunch of immigrants came off a boat and were being hidden in the small spaces behind the secret rooms where they sold their knockoff fashion crap. Most of the crew on the ship were either dead or spooked so bad they had to remove them forcibly from the ship. You have to remember that they didn't just walk these water rats from the boat to the back storage of Canal Street. Nah, they were drugged before the boat docked and locked in shipping boxes. That way it would just look like any other delivery.

Anyways, after the drugs wore off some of these water rats or immigrants or whatever you want to call them started going feral, like I said before. Becoming completely wild, even killing and eating some of the other water rats being held with them. I heard that one feral slaughtered and partially ate four other people being held with him and when they tried to transfer him to another room he viciously attacked three men biting and scratching. They hit him with bats and pipes but neither seemed to phase him. He just kept attacking until someone finally shot him in the head.

Next thing you knew the N.Y.P.D. was called in to handle these "feral dogs". They deemed it to be some sort of hysteria or virus or somethin'. But they couldn't tell the news this, especially right before the holidays in this recession. So they chalked it up to stamping out the thriving counterfeit industry of New York City.

What's really strange about these raids is that, unlike all the other raids before, there are "CLOSED BY COURT ORDER" , RESTRAINING ORDER and VACATE:DO NOT ENTER signs posted on the shops gates now. I never saw them do that before. Saying that the premises are imminently perilous to life. Since when are knockoff hand bags perilous to life? Nope, it's a quarantine situation that's being covered up for the sake of New York tourism and the like. I just hope that whatever came here with those people on that boat doesn't get any further than it has. But if it does I'm ready..."

She moved her jean jacket just a enough so the two women could see the handle to a gun sitting peacefully in a holster under the old woman's arm.

"...I believe in what my shirt says. You have a good evening ladies."

With that, the old woman stood up, downed the last of her drink and left the bar. I turned to look at the bartender who looked back at me is disbelief. Sarah and Jane got up without saying a word, put on their coats and left the bar. I went back to reading my book, The Zombie Survival Guide.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Pharmacy Run


They just announced on the news that a strange virus is spreading and
the government will be implementing Marshall law within the next 24-48
hours. All of our troops abroad are being transported back to the
continental United States, effective immediately.


Did I hear that news correctly? Let me turn on the radio...

" ...the president momentarily. This has been an emergency broadcast.
This is not a test. Please stay tuned for further instructions. This
is an Emergency Broadcast. Please stay in your current location and
lock yourself in. If you are listening to us from a car, please drive
to the nearest safe location and stay there. We are awaiting further
instructions. We should be hearing from the president momentarily.
This has been and Emergency broadcast. This is not a test..."

What is going on? There are people running down the street with
shopping carts full of food and water. This is unbelieveable!!! Is
this the end of the world? Screw this, I need to get to the pharmacy,
fast!

I seem to be one of two dozen people who have thought to pilage the
local pharmacies. I guess most people want food. I want vitamins, cold
medication, soap, and any other prescription meds I can get my hands
on. If there's a virus out there, about to decimate to human
population I want to be one of the survivors. Food and water are great
but when they go bad or run out then what?

Vitamins take years to go bad. I have no idea how to grow my own food
but I know I can take my vitamins and live off Twinkies if I have to.
You might think I'm totally stupid but let's see who survives this. If
it looks like I won't survive at least I'll have a nice supply of
vicodin and morphine so my last days are painless bliss. I've never
feared death. No, I'm more worried about pain and suffering. Those
things aren't for me but, if this is the end, I welcome death with
open arms.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

You're not a zombie but we have to amputate.


Bet you didn't know that not all zombies are contagious. Unfortunately, this information wasn't discovered sooner. People were decapitated before the final words to say "I've been bitten" could be spoken. Even people who had been scratched didn't get a second look in the beginning.

As the war progressed things started to look up. Natural decomposition of the human body was a great ally. A zombie before it reaches the black putrefaction stage of decomposition is highly contagious. All of it's body fluids should be avoided at all costs. You can tell if a zombie has just entered this stage because it will appear bloated. The lower part of the abdomen might still have some of it's green color from early putrefaction. The end of this stage is close when you begin to see bones. Usually this stage takes 10-20 days. But, since zombies don't just stay in one spot and are invulnerable to insects, this stage can vary greatly in time.

Back to my point about non-contagious zombies. After the black putrefaction a zombie will start to mummify. This is when they are no longer contagious. The zombie begins to dry out. It is still unknown how a zombie can continue "functioning" at this point since they should no longer have any tissue, organs and (least of all) a brain left.

Since the mummified zombie is void of all fluids it can no longer infect another living creature. It still hurts like hell if you get bitten and can cause some serious damage, gangrene or amputation. While you can't become infected from a bite it has been rumored that if you were to, somehow, ingest any part of a mummified zombie you would slowly become one. I'm not sure how they're testing this theory but I wish they wouldn't. Just when things seem like we have the upper hand some jerk with a degree, sitting in a lab, wants to find out how to make more zombies.

Some things are better left undone.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

VIDEO - Walking in Fear

video

Every driveway, alleyway, dark shadow worries me when I have to walk outside at night. They say there's nothing to fear anymore. They say that the zombies have been exterminated and won't return. But how can they really know that? They weren't able to predict the first outbreak or the last, yet somehow they know this is the final curtain call for the undead?

I have nightmares when I sleep and frightening daydreams when I'm awake. The last zombie war was the worst by far. Spanning every continent with lightening speed. The fact that I was a freelance photographer working in a remote location when it started saved my life. Well, that and my three best friends. My machete, my senses and my desire to live. Killing zombies wasn't hard for me. I never cried afterwards wondering whose mother, brother or child I had just re-killed. It was like crushing bugs, very big bugs that you didn't want invading your kitchen anymore. This might sound crazy but...I felt safer during the war than I do now.

Safety is like art, for me, "it's all in the eye/mind of the beholder" or something like that. I was a photographer not a writer. At least during the war you could carry a weapon and nobody looked at you funny. I miss my machete. I leave her faithfully by my front door when I leave the house and I'm comforted by the sight of her when I get home. Ever since that guy butchered his girlfriend claiming he had mistaken her for a zombie while they were grocery shopping at Walmart ALL weapons have been banned for civilians. It's bullshit! Even when the toxicology reports came out later explaining that the guy was hopped up on some new form of meth the government still kept the ban in place. Now, if you're caught with a weapon, they put you in jail for no less than 30 days for "rehabilitation".

A friend of mine was sent to "rehabilitation" and he said it was like a scene from that movie where the guy has his eye lids stuck open and forced to watch images while listening to Beethoven. My friend now lives in an underground bomb shelter somewhere in northern Canada. He vowed to never come in contact with another human again and he wishes we had never won the zombie war. Can't really blame him...

There was something about the chaos of the war, and my faithful machete, that was comforting. It gave me some purpose for wanting to live. Now, it's silent at night, too silent. I'm terrified by the silence. Not knowing if and when it will begin again. Thinking, I might not be so lucky the text time around...

Let me stop talking like this.
Thanks so much for reading this.
I think it's time for me to try and sleep, time to take my pills.

Sleep tight, don't let the zombies bite.

Monday, January 4, 2010

I'll have an order of BRAINS!


Unless you've been growing your own fruits and vegetables and slaughtering your own livestock you have seen food at the store labeled ORGANIC.

The mere fact that food has to have this label is sickening! What does that mean for all the other food items that aren't labeled this way? Odds are they are genetically modified or contain genetically modified ingredients, GMI's.

So while you think you've selected a nice tomato, you're actually buying the "idea" of a tomato. An organism that has been modified artificially to ripen and have that perfect bright red luster. Meanwhile it may not contain any of the beneficial elements of an organic tomato.

Every wonder how some of the things you eat are "genetically modified"? Well let me tell you a little of what I know. In order to change the DNA of, let's say, a cucumber they have to break into the DNA code, like creating a hole in a chain. To do this they have to use a vector such as a virus or bacteria. Once the virus has been introduced into the DNA and created a hole they can then insert whatever code it is they want. For example, rendering the cucumber immune to certain fertilizers and harmful pesticides.

What I wonder is "What happens to the virus"? Does the virus remain in the DNA dormant or is it still active. If the viruses introduced into our food were still active it would explain why ecoli has been found in everything from peanuts to spinach! Has anybody done any studies to find out what the long term exposure to ingesting these genetically modified foods might do to us, humans? Sure the cucumber is now resistant to pesticides but what if humans started to become immune to normally lethal substances or begin to "cheat death"?

Now Mr. Smith used to work at the nuclear power plant until he was exposed to high levels of radiation. He was then put on disability and told he didn't have much longer to live. There was no cure for the level of exposure he had undergone. Thinking it's his last days on earth he indulges himself in some of the worst eating habits ever. Devouring every sweet, sticky, multi-colored, multi-flavored, high fructose corn syrup drenched food item he can get his hands on praying for a heart attack to stop his suffering. Little does he know but this new diet is beginning to alter his DNA. The viruses and bacteria contained within the GMI's combine to create a barrier against death. But this doesn't mean he isn't still dying. Quite to the contrary...

Mr. Smith dies peacefully, alone, in his sleep. However nobody tells the viruses and bacteria in his body that. They are still alive and have a great need to continue doing so. They operate Mr.Smith's body like a robot. The genetically modified organisms, GMO's, in his body aren't sure what to do with their new host. Then their natural instinct kicks in, they will infect other hosts, just like they would normally.

The GMO's have limited control over their robot but can make him walk, see, bite and infect new hosts where they can reproduce and continue this pattern...

People get vaccines against viruses, like the flu. Will people have to get vaccines against their food one day?

Sunday, January 3, 2010

The CATalyst

videoI read somewhere that a tiny parasite called Toxoplasma gondii, which lives in the stomachs of cats, could very well be the catalyst for a zombie apocalypse. When rats are infected by this parasite their brains become affected and alters their behavior. Instead of running away from cats they become attracted to the smell of cats and cat urine. The rats run straight towards danger where they can be easily caught and ingested. The ingested Toxoplasma gondii find their way to the cat’s stomach and reproduce to complete the life cycle.

It's said that up to one third of the world's population is estimated to carry a Toxoplasma infection. Just think, if this parasite began to affect humans the same way, infecting the brain and causing them to run into harms way or altering what humans want to eat just for the sake of it's own reproduction! Toxoplasma gondii doesn't just come from cats. It can also be obtained by the ingestion of raw meat.

Now imagine one third of the world's population is carrying a parasite that mutates one day and causes it's carriers to crave raw meat and have complete disregard for bodily injury. I would have to say it would look very much like the Zombie War has begun.

Luckily this is just a theory, for now anyways. Meow!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

A Swanky Apartment or A Death Sentence?

Oh happy day, you just got a promotion at work and finalized the purchase of a swanky penthouse apartment located on the 30th floor. It comes with all of the creature comforts a penthouse can offer. A fabulous view, lots of light, a dishwasher and a private access elevator. All of these things are great in a living breathing world but not in one where zombies roam.

Your home sweet home soon turns into a death trap. The fabulous view just let's you witness more of the chaos and carnage taking place at your feet. What is the point of having a dishwasher when you can't dirty any dishes? Your food supply rapidly disappears and you wish you had stocked your shelves with food instead of eating out all the time and using the shelf space for fancy plates and glasses.

A week passes and you can't get anymore drinking water from the toilet. You have to leave this lap of luxury soon or else... But how? There are 30 floors separating you and the ground. Who knows how many of the people that lived below you are dead, dying or re-animated. If you lived just one floor down you would have a small terrace like everybody else that you might be able to climb down. Instead, you only have one option, the stairs. The elevator doesn't work. Walking down the stairs, in the dark, with no other escape route looks like an obvious suicide path. Best case scenario, you meet some other survivors in the building who happen to have guns and food. They have been "clearing" the building of the undead for the whole week and gathering survival stuff from all of the apartments. Their plan is to stay in the building a while longer before venturing outside. You shake your head because this option sounds like a movie and this isn't a f*#@ing movie!

The more realistic outcome of taking the stairs is that you might make it down a few flights. The dim glow of the few remaining safety lights that work and your small flashlight cast shadows all over the place. The hallway is hot and moist. A strong small of decay surrounds you and it takes everything you can to not vomit every five seconds. Maybe you've made in down 15 flights before you hear a door open and slam shut somewhere above you. Keep moving down, faster, you heart starts to beat harder, adrenaline is high. You stop and listen, now it sounds like there are more footsteps not just above you but below you as well. Panic sets in and you head out into the hallway of apartment doors. The hallway is clear but traces of several bloody fights still remain on the walls, ceilings and floors. Something crunches under your foot. It's two severed fingers...

The doorway from the stairwell starts to open. You wish the emergency doors didn't have those easy access push bars. Every apartment door appears to be locked, except one. Without thinking about what might be on the other side you swing the door open. A woman in a business suit falls out of the apartment onto your chest. She immediately starts biting through your shirt. Perhaps you should have taken kickboxing all these years at the gym instead of Yoga.

The old man who always would hold the elevator for you appears behind you. Pieces of his scalp are missing and his right ear. Someone must have tried to re-kill him but failed. He sinks his teeth into the soft flesh of your neck between your collar bone and your shoulder. The pain is unimaginable and you're hoping death comes soon but it doesn't. You feel every tooth pierce your skin and watch helplessly as blood pours from your body.

Neither of these two scenarios is appealing or entirely realistic. Well, living on the 30th floor might be good for one thing. You throw a chair through the big picture window in the livingroom as the sun comes up. The fresh morning air feels wonderful. You take several steps back from the open gap and take a running leap towards your breathtaking view. Thirty stories down and you are guaranteed not to feel teeth or come back as the undead.