New York City Chinatown Cover-up

December 8 2009

New York City, Chinatown

Agency: Mayor's Office of Special Enforcement

"THE DEPARTMENT OF BUILDINGS HAS DETERMINED THAT CONDITIONS IN THIS PREMISES ARE IMMINENTLY PERILOUS TO LIFE."

"Person entering these premises are subject to arrest."

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I was at a bar downtown and two women were discussing the holiday raids on Canal Street in New York City. We'll call them Sarah and Jane since they looked like Sarah Silverman and Jane Krakowski. Sarah kept ranting about how she had almost gone the day before the raid to find a knockoff of the Valentino Petale tote bag to give to her sister for Christmas and how much she wish she had. While Jane bitched about how the Mayor and N.Y.P.D. had officially f*&%ed up a holiday tradition her and her mother had, trolling Canal Street for knockoffs to give to their unsuspecting relatives out in the Midwest.

I pretended to read my book while I listened to these two women who were honestly worried about their shopping options now that Canal street had been officially closed until further notice. An older woman on the other side of Sarah and Jane had also been listening to their conversation and began to laugh, quite noticeably. Both of the women stopped talking and looked over at her.

The woman looked like she was in her late fifties or early sixties. Her hair was salt, pepper and short. There was a whisky glass in front of her with a deep amber liquid in it, neat, no rocks. As she sat a little back away from the bar, while she laughed, I could read her shirt, it read " Kill'em All! Let God Sort'Em Out"


The older woman looked towards Sarah and Jane over the rim of her dark glasses

" Scuse me ladies, but do you really believe this horse shit about them closing down Canal Street because they have some purses with fancy labels spelled wrong? Hmmm? Well do ya?"

Sarah and Jane just looked at each other and shrugged at the old woman. The old woman took a sip of her glass and began talking...

"They've been "raiding" Canal street for as long as I can remember. On one hand the police get to look like a bunch of hot shots doing their civil duty and on the other hand the Chinese get free advertising for their fake shit. Not to mention the city makes a fortune off of the tourism all that fake fashion stuff brings in. It's a win-win-win situation. Nah, they closed Canal street because a bunch of immigrants went feral.

The way I hear it a bunch of immigrants came off a boat and were being hidden in the small spaces behind the secret rooms where they sold their knockoff fashion crap. Most of the crew on the ship were either dead or spooked so bad they had to remove them forcibly from the ship. You have to remember that they didn't just walk these water rats from the boat to the back storage of Canal Street. Nah, they were drugged before the boat docked and locked in shipping boxes. That way it would just look like any other delivery.

Anyways, after the drugs wore off some of these water rats or immigrants or whatever you want to call them started going feral, like I said before. Becoming completely wild, even killing and eating some of the other water rats being held with them. I heard that one feral slaughtered and partially ate four other people being held with him and when they tried to transfer him to another room he viciously attacked three men biting and scratching. They hit him with bats and pipes but neither seemed to phase him. He just kept attacking until someone finally shot him in the head.

Next thing you knew the N.Y.P.D. was called in to handle these "feral dogs". They deemed it to be some sort of hysteria or virus or somethin'. But they couldn't tell the news this, especially right before the holidays in this recession. So they chalked it up to stamping out the thriving counterfeit industry of New York City.

What's really strange about these raids is that, unlike all the other raids before, there are "CLOSED BY COURT ORDER" , RESTRAINING ORDER and VACATE:DO NOT ENTER signs posted on the shops gates now. I never saw them do that before. Saying that the premises are imminently perilous to life. Since when are knockoff hand bags perilous to life? Nope, it's a quarantine situation that's being covered up for the sake of New York tourism and the like. I just hope that whatever came here with those people on that boat doesn't get any further than it has. But if it does I'm ready..."

She moved her jean jacket just a enough so the two women could see the handle to a gun sitting peacefully in a holster under the old woman's arm.

"...I believe in what my shirt says. You have a good evening ladies."

With that, the old woman stood up, downed the last of her drink and left the bar. I turned to look at the bartender who looked back at me is disbelief. Sarah and Jane got up without saying a word, put on their coats and left the bar. I went back to reading my book, The Zombie Survival Guide.

Pharmacy Run

They just announced on the news that a strange virus is spreading and
the government will be implementing Marshall law within the next 24-48
hours. All of our troops abroad are being transported back to the
continental United States, effective immediately.


Did I hear that news correctly? Let me turn on the radio...

" ...the president momentarily. This has been an emergency broadcast.
This is not a test. Please stay tuned for further instructions. This
is an Emergency Broadcast. Please stay in your current location and
lock yourself in. If you are listening to us from a car, please drive
to the nearest safe location and stay there. We are awaiting further
instructions. We should be hearing from the president momentarily.
This has been and Emergency broadcast. This is not a test..."

What is going on? There are people running down the street with
shopping carts full of food and water. This is unbelieveable!!! Is
this the end of the world? Screw this, I need to get to the pharmacy,
fast!

I seem to be one of two dozen people who have thought to pilage the
local pharmacies. I guess most people want food. I want vitamins, cold
medication, soap, and any other prescription meds I can get my hands
on. If there's a virus out there, about to decimate to human
population I want to be one of the survivors. Food and water are great
but when they go bad or run out then what?

Vitamins take years to go bad. I have no idea how to grow my own food
but I know I can take my vitamins and live off Twinkies if I have to.
You might think I'm totally stupid but let's see who survives this. If
it looks like I won't survive at least I'll have a nice supply of
vicodin and morphine so my last days are painless bliss. I've never
feared death. No, I'm more worried about pain and suffering. Those
things aren't for me but, if this is the end, I welcome death with
open arms.

You're not a zombie but we have to amputate.

Bet you didn't know that not all zombies are contagious. Unfortunately, this information wasn't discovered sooner. People were decapitated before the final words to say "I've been bitten" could be spoken. Even people who had been scratched didn't get a second look in the beginning.

As the war progressed things started to look up. Natural decomposition of the human body was a great ally. A zombie before it reaches the black putrefaction stage of decomposition is highly contagious. All of it's body fluids should be avoided at all costs. You can tell if a zombie has just entered this stage because it will appear bloated. The lower part of the abdomen might still have some of it's green color from early putrefaction. The end of this stage is close when you begin to see bones. Usually this stage takes 10-20 days. But, since zombies don't just stay in one spot and are invulnerable to insects, this stage can vary greatly in time.

Back to my point about non-contagious zombies. After the black putrefaction a zombie will start to mummify. This is when they are no longer contagious. The zombie begins to dry out. It is still unknown how a zombie can continue "functioning" at this point since they should no longer have any tissue, organs and (least of all) a brain left.

Since the mummified zombie is void of all fluids it can no longer infect another living creature. It still hurts like hell if you get bitten and can cause some serious damage, gangrene or amputation. While you can't become infected from a bite it has been rumored that if you were to, somehow, ingest any part of a mummified zombie you would slowly become one. I'm not sure how they're testing this theory but I wish they wouldn't. Just when things seem like we have the upper hand some jerk with a degree, sitting in a lab, wants to find out how to make more zombies.

Some things are better left undone.

VIDEO - Walking in Fear

Every driveway, alleyway, dark shadow worries me when I have to walk outside at night. They say there's nothing to fear anymore. They say that the zombies have been exterminated and won't return. But how can they really know that? They weren't able to predict the first outbreak or the last, yet somehow they know this is the final curtain call for the undead?

I have nightmares when I sleep and frightening daydreams when I'm awake. The last zombie war was the worst by far. Spanning every continent with lightening speed. The fact that I was a freelance photographer working in a remote location when it started saved my life. Well, that and my three best friends. My machete, my senses and my desire to live. Killing zombies wasn't hard for me. I never cried afterwards wondering whose mother, brother or child I had just re-killed. It was like crushing bugs, very big bugs that you didn't want invading your kitchen anymore. This might sound crazy but...I felt safer during the war than I do now.

Safety is like art, for me, "it's all in the eye/mind of the beholder" or something like that. I was a photographer not a writer. At least during the war you could carry a weapon and nobody looked at you funny. I miss my machete. I leave her faithfully by my front door when I leave the house and I'm comforted by the sight of her when I get home. Ever since that guy butchered his girlfriend claiming he had mistaken her for a zombie while they were grocery shopping at Walmart ALL weapons have been banned for civilians. It's bullshit! Even when the toxicology reports came out later explaining that the guy was hopped up on some new form of meth the government still kept the ban in place. Now, if you're caught with a weapon, they put you in jail for no less than 30 days for "rehabilitation".

A friend of mine was sent to "rehabilitation" and he said it was like a scene from that movie where the guy has his eye lids stuck open and forced to watch images while listening to Beethoven. My friend now lives in an underground bomb shelter somewhere in northern Canada. He vowed to never come in contact with another human again and he wishes we had never won the zombie war. Can't really blame him...

There was something about the chaos of the war, and my faithful machete, that was comforting. It gave me some purpose for wanting to live. Now, it's silent at night, too silent. I'm terrified by the silence. Not knowing if and when it will begin again. Thinking, I might not be so lucky the text time around...

Let me stop talking like this.
Thanks so much for reading this.
I think it's time for me to try and sleep, time to take my pills.

Sleep tight, don't let the zombies bite.

I'll have an order of BRAINS!

Unless you've been growing your own fruits and vegetables and slaughtering your own livestock you have seen food at the store labeled ORGANIC.

The mere fact that food has to have this label is sickening! What does that mean for all the other food items that aren't labeled this way? Odds are they are genetically modified or contain genetically modified ingredients, GMI's.

So while you think you've selected a nice tomato, you're actually buying the "idea" of a tomato. An organism that has been modified artificially to ripen and have that perfect bright red luster. Meanwhile it may not contain any of the beneficial elements of an organic tomato.

Every wonder how some of the things you eat are "genetically modified"? Well let me tell you a little of what I know. In order to change the DNA of, let's say, a cucumber they have to break into the DNA code, like creating a hole in a chain. To do this they have to use a vector such as a virus or bacteria. Once the virus has been introduced into the DNA and created a hole they can then insert whatever code it is they want. For example, rendering the cucumber immune to certain fertilizers and harmful pesticides.

What I wonder is "What happens to the virus"? Does the virus remain in the DNA dormant or is it still active. If the viruses introduced into our food were still active it would explain why ecoli has been found in everything from peanuts to spinach! Has anybody done any studies to find out what the long term exposure to ingesting these genetically modified foods might do to us, humans? Sure the cucumber is now resistant to pesticides but what if humans started to become immune to normally lethal substances or begin to "cheat death"?

Now Mr. Smith used to work at the nuclear power plant until he was exposed to high levels of radiation. He was then put on disability and told he didn't have much longer to live. There was no cure for the level of exposure he had undergone. Thinking it's his last days on earth he indulges himself in some of the worst eating habits ever. Devouring every sweet, sticky, multi-colored, multi-flavored, high fructose corn syrup drenched food item he can get his hands on praying for a heart attack to stop his suffering. Little does he know but this new diet is beginning to alter his DNA. The viruses and bacteria contained within the GMI's combine to create a barrier against death. But this doesn't mean he isn't still dying. Quite to the contrary...

Mr. Smith dies peacefully, alone, in his sleep. However nobody tells the viruses and bacteria in his body that. They are still alive and have a great need to continue doing so. They operate Mr.Smith's body like a robot. The genetically modified organisms, GMO's, in his body aren't sure what to do with their new host. Then their natural instinct kicks in, they will infect other hosts, just like they would normally.

The GMO's have limited control over their robot but can make him walk, see, bite and infect new hosts where they can reproduce and continue this pattern...

People get vaccines against viruses, like the flu. Will people have to get vaccines against their food one day?

The CATalyst

I read somewhere that a tiny parasite called Toxoplasma gondii, which lives in the stomachs of cats, could very well be the catalyst for a zombie apocalypse. When rats are infected by this parasite their brains become affected and alters their behavior. Instead of running away from cats they become attracted to the smell of cats and cat urine. The rats run straight towards danger where they can be easily caught and ingested. The ingested Toxoplasma gondii find their way to the cat’s stomach and reproduce to complete the life cycle.

It's said that up to one third of the world's population is estimated to carry a Toxoplasma infection. Just think, if this parasite began to affect humans the same way, infecting the brain and causing them to run into harms way or altering what humans want to eat just for the sake of it's own reproduction! Toxoplasma gondii doesn't just come from cats. It can also be obtained by the ingestion of raw meat.

Now imagine one third of the world's population is carrying a parasite that mutates one day and causes it's carriers to crave raw meat and have complete disregard for bodily injury. I would have to say it would look very much like the Zombie War has begun.

Luckily this is just a theory, for now anyways. Meow!

A Swanky Apartment or A Death Sentence?

Oh happy day, you just got a promotion at work and finalized the purchase of a swanky penthouse apartment located on the 30th floor. It comes with all of the creature comforts a penthouse can offer. A fabulous view, lots of light, a dishwasher and a private access elevator. All of these things are great in a living breathing world but not in one where zombies roam.

Your home sweet home soon turns into a death trap. The fabulous view just let's you witness more of the chaos and carnage taking place at your feet. What is the point of having a dishwasher when you can't dirty any dishes? Your food supply rapidly disappears and you wish you had stocked your shelves with food instead of eating out all the time and using the shelf space for fancy plates and glasses.

A week passes and you can't get anymore drinking water from the toilet. You have to leave this lap of luxury soon or else... But how? There are 30 floors separating you and the ground. Who knows how many of the people that lived below you are dead, dying or re-animated. If you lived just one floor down you would have a small terrace like everybody else that you might be able to climb down. Instead, you only have one option, the stairs. The elevator doesn't work. Walking down the stairs, in the dark, with no other escape route looks like an obvious suicide path. Best case scenario, you meet some other survivors in the building who happen to have guns and food. They have been "clearing" the building of the undead for the whole week and gathering survival stuff from all of the apartments. Their plan is to stay in the building a while longer before venturing outside. You shake your head because this option sounds like a movie and this isn't a f*#@ing movie!

The more realistic outcome of taking the stairs is that you might make it down a few flights. The dim glow of the few remaining safety lights that work and your small flashlight cast shadows all over the place. The hallway is hot and moist. A strong small of decay surrounds you and it takes everything you can to not vomit every five seconds. Maybe you've made in down 15 flights before you hear a door open and slam shut somewhere above you. Keep moving down, faster, you heart starts to beat harder, adrenaline is high. You stop and listen, now it sounds like there are more footsteps not just above you but below you as well. Panic sets in and you head out into the hallway of apartment doors. The hallway is clear but traces of several bloody fights still remain on the walls, ceilings and floors. Something crunches under your foot. It's two severed fingers...

The doorway from the stairwell starts to open. You wish the emergency doors didn't have those easy access push bars. Every apartment door appears to be locked, except one. Without thinking about what might be on the other side you swing the door open. A woman in a business suit falls out of the apartment onto your chest. She immediately starts biting through your shirt. Perhaps you should have taken kickboxing all these years at the gym instead of Yoga.

The old man who always would hold the elevator for you appears behind you. Pieces of his scalp are missing and his right ear. Someone must have tried to re-kill him but failed. He sinks his teeth into the soft flesh of your neck between your collar bone and your shoulder. The pain is unimaginable and you're hoping death comes soon but it doesn't. You feel every tooth pierce your skin and watch helplessly as blood pours from your body.

Neither of these two scenarios is appealing or entirely realistic. Well, living on the 30th floor might be good for one thing. You throw a chair through the big picture window in the livingroom as the sun comes up. The fresh morning air feels wonderful. You take several steps back from the open gap and take a running leap towards your breathtaking view. Thirty stories down and you are guaranteed not to feel teeth or come back as the undead.